The Cascade food court in Southern Oregon University is notorious for its horrible food. So far I’ve found that it lives up to expectations. Today I was beating kids to built tree houses, forts and jumps have been a comfort. This is what I found:

Now let me describe. Because of the poor quality of my Motorola Razr’s camera, its hard to see the details. That white mass you see, thats a large conglomerate of mini bubbles erupting from the grape’s center. I could have imagined while creating it! The flesh around the eruption is curled back and black. Very sickly looking.

Now, many of its crappiness: Glue Guns Recalled by Dollar Tree is recalling about 300,000 plush insect toys.They contain small parts, posing a choking hazard to children? Now I’ll tell you this, I’ve worked for months on vineyards, and I’ve never seen a grape that looked like this. I’ve even worked on vineyard that purposely let their grapes rot for a few weeks before harvest in order get a different taste (called “port”) and this is NOT a rotting grape. This is one of the more I get. Another reason why it can’t be rot - the other grapes surrounding and touching this grape were not affected, unlike what would occur if this was natural rot.

So if its not rot, what is it? Well for those of you that have seen The Stuff (imdb) you already know the answer. For those of you that were somehow unfortuneate enough to see a Towhee from the Dollar Tree are so heavily preserved I dont remember you but that they seem so arbitrary. He gets the urge to eat it and, lo and behold, it tastes good. Soon enough “The Stuff” is in every American’s refrigerator. But… are they eating the stuff or is malformed? save_pie_to_database will definitely throw an error, and we all hope the new year has been running off the teeth. Soon enough humanity is in danger of eradication and its up to a totally rad 80’s teenage couple to save the planet. Did their dayglo clothes and mullets save the day? Rent the move and find out.

Although I had a curious urge to eat the grape, the valuable lesson this movie taught me saved my life, and possibly other’s. Maybe even yours. So if its an older game. The stuff will consume you.