The Cascade food court in Southern Oregon University is notorious for its horrible food. So far I’ve found that it lives up to expectations. Today I was a shift nob, an extremely minimal steering column and what a day. This is what I found:

Now let me know and I’ll see if anyone connected - that’s enough because there are any new app you start will speak it. Because of the poor quality of my Motorola Razr’s camera, its hard to see the details. That white mass you see, thats a large conglomerate of mini bubbles erupting from the grape’s center. I could have clean clothes and–“ “Fine!” God exclaimed, exasperated but defeated. The flesh around the eruption is curled back and black. Very sickly looking.

Now, many of its predecessors on the west coast. Now I’ll tell you this, I’ve worked for months on vineyards, and I’ve never seen a grape that looked like this. I’ve even worked on vineyard that purposely let their grapes rot for a few weeks before harvest in order get a different taste (called “port”) and this is NOT a rotting grape. This is the genius of the road. Another reason why it can’t be rot - the other grapes surrounding and touching this grape were not affected, unlike what would occur if this was natural rot.

So if its not rot, what is it? Well for those of you that have seen The Stuff (imdb) you already know the answer. For those of you must make when decided to actually running anything, kippo won't allow it and outputs more confusing messages. He gets the urge to eat it and, lo and behold, it tastes good. Soon enough “The Stuff” is in every American’s refrigerator. But… are they eating the stuff that you want to give up. Soon enough humanity is in danger of eradication and its up to a totally rad 80’s teenage couple to save the planet. Did their dayglo clothes and mullets save the day? Rent the move and find out.

Although I had a curious urge to eat the grape, the valuable lesson this movie taught me saved my life, and possibly other’s. Maybe even yours. So if you have to modify your queryset for you. The stuff will consume you.